One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

I know the theory that we all came out of the ocean. I actually agree with it. No creature not evolved from salt water would ever think of eating an oyster the first time they see one.

But that doesn't mean that our ancestors didn't strip off their gills, blowholes, and fins for a reason. Consequently, I know there are a lot of us that are dismayed at the fact that we don't swim like, well, a fish.

I learned how to swim back in the dark ages, like so many of us mid packers, from a YMCA program where the instuctors were teenagers who basically taught you how to avoid drowning. I never really got much better at swimming, although I grew up in Galveston, and spent my summers skiing, surfing, snorkeling, fishing and playing in the community pool and ocean. So I'm not afraid of the water, and I also know that I am more likely to be slugged by an angry rollerblader than hunted down by a shark. I love to scuba, and I am a Cancer, born in the sign of water.

Why, then, do I flounder during the swim? I am such a slower swimmer, even on my bestest and fastest day. My feet kick in an odd rhythm (the preferred triathlete 2 beat becomes some kind of tango-samba kick) and the old lady next to me doing a breast stroke flies past me.

Obviously, most of us were taught to swim all wrong, and re-learning anything requires tearing down muscle memory and starting over again, which takes time and patience, of which I have neither.

HOWEVER, there is hope for me and the rest of the dry landers. First, take a swim lesson. Yeah, you heard me--I know you know how to swim. But you may not KNOW how to swim. My very patient coach, Coach Claire, did not wring her hands when she saw my swim form (I saw her shake her head but she didn't know I was looking). Instead, she gave me 5-6 pointers, and several drills, to use to force me into better form and habit. After that, I got slower, which was frustrating, but it was because I was re-teaching my body how to swim the right way, and my body is very stubborn about new things that don't involve consumption of calories.

Then, be patient. I say that a lot. But it's really true, especially for the older, slower mid packer.

I swam Friday night 1300 yards, an easy swim of just practicing strokes and form (the drills start again tonight). And for the first time in four months, I was marginally faster. And I didn't feel tired, and I pushed my stroke a bit, and didn't feel like I was eggbeating myself into drowning. It took FOUR MONTHS of drills and intervals to notice this marginal payoff. (I suggest that others may find their results come faster--I have more slow twitch muscles in my entire body than some have in their little toes). But it's sure exciting when that happens.

Water is good. You are lying down, you are not terribly hot (you might get cold, but you can get over that), you are not pounding your bones on hard concrete, and no one in a truck is going to run over you (of course, someone in a Speedo might do so, but chances are, that encouter won't be fatal). Love the water. BE the water.

Happy splashing!