Triathlon Tidbits

I come up with all this useless information, usually in the middle of a very long bike ride or run. It sticks around for about twelve seconds and then goes into the dark matter and joins stuff like the Last Time I Saw My Shooting Gloves. But since this Saturday was a 12 mile run (yes! done at 12:13 min pace, and no bonking) and this Sunday was a 28 mile bike (not as much fun as it was windy, but still not a bad ride at 14.9 mph average), I retained some of these tidbits, as follows:

1. Goggle Eyes. Not to be confused with google eyes (a la Marty Feldman, Young Frankenstein being one of the world's best movies by the way), this is a condition caused by swimming over 40 minutes while wearing goggles. Some of us try to go to work afterwards, or go out to dinner, and we look, well, like we've gone 12 rounds with an evil eye doctor. Hint: buy some Preparation H and smear it around your eye tissues post-swim. Women over the age of 30 have known this hint for years. You think it reduces swelling only in certain areas?

2. The Hills are Alive. There is nothing--I repeat NOTHING--that introduces you to the microscopic analysis of terrain like having to run or bike over it. A road that you swear is flat when you zoom over it in a car will show you its true underbelly when you are hoofing or biking over it. You will be shocked at how many uphills there are in the universe.

3. Lost toenails. As a last feeble effort against looking like a homeless person while working out, I demand that my toenails stay painted. Until, of course, you start to lose them. Most long distance runners lose a big toenail or two during the year. You will be so grossed out the first time it happens. Then it becomes no big deal (except to your kids). They hurt like blazes when you bruise them too badly by pounding away on them, then they fall off and a new one grows to start the process over again. PS if you are losing more than one or two a year, have someone check those shoes for you. Anyway, you start to learn that closed toed shoes make a good fashion statement. Especially for the guys.

4. Swim hair. We used to call it chlorine hair when I was a kid, back when the way to keep a public pool clean was to pour stuff in the water that would rot your insides if you swallowed enough of it. Today the chemicals are a bit less harsh, but harsh enough. If you wanna keep your hair from looking like a brillo pad, you gotta shower the stuff out EACH TIME you swim--a PIA for sure when you are rushed after your swim to get home or get to work. I've tried all the extra special "swimmer" shampoos and think they are all a bunch of marketing bunk--shampoo is shampoo. Also, here's a good hint: baby powder the inside of your swim cap about every third time you use it. It makes the cap glide on and off easily without yanking out your follicles.

5. Barefoot running. I keep reading about the benefits of running barefoot, or wearing the almost barefoot shoes. Saturday on my 9 mile run I crunched over acorns, twigs, a broken bottle, and some rocks. I am sure glad I was wearing shoes. I don't necessarily disagree with the barefoot idea, but I am not Zola Budd and I think most of us back of the packers would be wise to protect the toenails that we still have left. Just my thoughts.

6. Here's the deal: you can swim 2000 yards, run 9 miles and bike 30 miles over a weekend, and if you eat two brownies, an order of fries, and two pieces of fried chicken over the same weekend, you will NOT lose any weight. Truth. I can attest to it personally.

7. Fuel is important. The longer you run or bike or swim, the more important it becomes. I've managed to learn to like oatmeal (the original, steel cut, long cooking oats--it takes a long time to cook and it makes a mess especially if you accidentally let the milk boil over on the stove, but added with a tablespoon of honey and some fresh raspberries, a bowl will carry you a long way). I'm experimenting now, five months pre 70.3, with different gels, bars, other things (I tried a hard boiled egg on my 30 mile bike ride--it actually went down better than I had expected, although you need to drink a lot while you are eating it). Any time you are out there pounding for more than 90-120 minutes, you are gonna need some kind of fuel before hand and during. This does not include fries, brownies and fried chicken, although I wish it did.

8. Hydration is more important. I hate to say "more" because both are important, but you will bonk faster if you dehydrate than if you don't eat. Hydration does not just mean drinking during the workout, but all day long, keeping your system well watered. Remember alcohol will dehydrate you (so will salty foods) so if you intend to drink the night before a workout, or eat 13 big salty pretzels, slug down more water than usual in the interim. Always carry or have access to more water than you think you will need. This includes during swimming, which sounds redundant, but it's true. Keep a water bottle at the end of your lane and sip often. A lot of bonking is due to poor hydration or nutrition, which can be easily fixed.

9. October and November are simply the best months to run and bike. Get out there. Enjoy the leaves falling in your path, the redness of the sunrise or sunset, the harvest moon lighting your footsteps, the cool north breeze at your neck. I realize if you live in North Dakota these are not your crowning months, but you guys had a liveable August and September. I ran my 9 miles this Saturday just grooving on the cooler temps (okay, it did warm up to 86 later in the day, but the morning was lovely). Dig it, because December and January are coming for us all.

10. You need to have at least one "this is why I run" or "this is why I bike" moment a week. On Saturday at mile 4.2 I passed a big house with a realistic and scary Halloween zombie stapled to the fence. He made me smile, and also actually made me look over my shoulder as I ran away from him (I was looking pretty tired by then, great zombie food). Whether it's noticing the clouds at sunrise, or the light dancing on a lake, or late summer flowers in full bloom, find something that you would not have otherwise noticed had you been in your car, insetad of on the hoof or tire.

This weekend is a brick--haven't done one in a while so it should be just loads of fun; 80 minute bike followed by a 10 minute run/zombie shuffle.